Now you can look the part of a scathing bitch with your own Godtopus t-shirt! (Pajiba)

Ben Affleck with a case of the runs. (Jezebel)

Miley Cyrus tries to burn Selena Gomez with a YouTube video. (MollyGood)

Hayden Panettiere shows off her ass. (Ninja Dude)

Heather Mills’ publicists dumps her and publicly humiliates her. (Holy Moly!)

Name that celebrity ass crack! (CityRag)

Now Miley and Billy can metaphorically shit on you from above. (Websters)

Richard Simmons in a… suit?! (Best Week Ever)

How to initiate morning sex. Hint — it’s not by dutch-ovening the covers. (College Candy)

Paula Abdul is just insane unlucky with obsession love. (pretty boring)

Emmanuelle Chriqui slutty lingerie pictures! (the grumpiest)

Jude Law, a real life chia pet! (The Blemish)

Adrian Grenier = epic fail. (Evil Beet)

Related Stories

• Quickies: Jam Out with Your Clam Out
• Quickies: Bowl Games
• Quickies: Fat Guy in a Little Coat
• Quickies: Shady
• Quickies: You Gotta Smell This