Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized early Sunday morning after being sideswiped by a motorbike. According to the NY Post

With sapphic sidekick Samantha Ronson by her side, Lohan was hit by a moving bike “outside a club on 32nd Street,” the movie starlet’s dad Michael Lohan confirmed. “She’s not hurt. That’s all I really care about,” Lohan said of his oldest daughter.

LiLo was taken to Beth Israel Medical Center and released at 4 a.m. [the same day].

How could Lindsay Lohan get hit by a motorbike and not be impaled on a handlebar in a display of phallic comeuppance? Has divine justice abandoned us? Should we go Job on the matter and curse God and die? Of course not! Remember, when the Lord closes a door, someway he opens a window. You have to believe there’s an eighteen-wheeler loaded with pork roasts and kielbasas just around the corner. With faith, all things are possible!

Lindsay Lohan on the set of Ugly Betty in New York July 21st: