Quickies: You Ain’t Got No Alibi

Aug 7, 20080

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The feds let Mary-Kate off the hook. (Holy Moly)

Hermione Granger gets all kinds of legal in a bikini at her pool party. (Ninja Dude)

L’il Kim’s ugliness finally kills somebody. (MollyGood)

Shia Lebeouf might lose a finger! But not the middle one, so he can still tell us to go fuck ourselves. (Websters)

This is just too horrible to be true. If there weren’t a police report, I wouldn’t have believed it. (Dlisted)

Suri Cruise tries to make the voices in her head stop. (Jezebel)

Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard gets naked for PETA. (The Blemish)

How ’bout a little naked Diane Lane action? (Mr. Skin)

Halle Berry’s breasts have something to tell you. (CityRag)

Irrefutable proof that Pink is a lesbian. Or else a crazy old man who wants you off his lawn. (Best Week Ever)

Jamie Lynn Spears finally makes a post-pregnancy appearance at — you guessed it — Wal-Mart! (CelebWarship)