Kim Kardashian can haz ass; let her show u it. (Popoholic)

Katie Price looks like a duck-billed platypus. (IDLYITW)

Wedding bells this weekend for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi! (USMagazine)

Kate Winslet does not love making out with Leonardo DiCaprio in front of her husband. (ASL)

Sometimes skinny ain’t pretty. J.Lo.Hew should go back to eating sandwiches and candy, and bring back the boobs. And not wear those hideous shorts ever again. (WIMB)

Selma Blair is sullen in a pink bikini and a stupid hat. (HollywoodTuna)

The best movie you’ve probably never seen. (Pajiba)

Another Jonas Brother is dressed like an assclown. Again. Some more. (Splash)

Katie Holmes is starting to look like a young Bea Arthur. (JustJared)

Are Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian days over? (Mollygood)

Tom Cruise is sinking (Holy Moly)

Michael Phelps continues to win every medal in the history of ever, including both the Newbery and the Caldecott (WaPo), and Béla Károlyi has a mild seizure, gets electrocuted and brings back disco all at the same time on NBC, and ALMOST makes Bob Costas interesting for ten whole seconds. (Best Week Ever)