S.S. Mariah Carey Can’t Manage Her Assets
Tags: Mariah Carey, summer supererogative
Mariah Carey is yachting off the isle of Capri with her husband Nick Cannon, and has apparently constructed an elaborate fantasy in which she is a Bond Girl, and therefore must swan about in a bathing suit approximately 9 sizes too small while being fished out of the Mediterranean by one of her minions. Since she’s slicked into that thing like a wet seal in a greased up corset, it comes as no surprise that her nipples made a desperate bid for freedom. Ain’t nothin’ gonna break their stride, oh no! They’ve got to keep on movin’!
…I’ve inexplicably had that song in my head all day. If I have to suffer, y’all can suffer right along with me. You’re welcome!


One Comment, Comment or Ping
Alina
She has a hot body
Aug 31st, 2008
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