The new wifey has gotten a hold of Charlie Sheen’s man butter — and you can bet Denise Richards isn’t going to like it. Rush and Molloy say

Her ex Charlie Sheen is expecting a baby with new wife Brooke Mueller. “They are so happy and excited,” a spy [says]. “They are in love, and this news makes things even better.”

Denise is desperate for Charlie’s spunk, so the idea of it being wasted on some skank’s lesser egg is going to send her spiraling out of control. Screaming, crying, milking Charlie’s prostate at gunpoint in the middle of the night — the works. Full mental breakdown. Personally, I can’t imagine getting that worked up over some guy’s ejaculate. Unless said ejaculate ended up in my eye and ruined a perfectly good pair of contacts. Then you can goddamn bet that you’re paying the optometrist’s bill. Hey, it’s not like I go around menstruating in your eyes or anything there, William Tell. Next time work on your aim.

On the set of her new Bollywood movie: