The Jonas Brothers still won’t go away, and are now getting a craptacular Disney Channel show, because God hates us sinners and we are clearly being punished. (Cele|bitchy)

Remember Meredith Salenger, the cute girl from that 80s Disney movie The Journey of Natty Gann with John Cusack?  Well she’s still alive, and she’s naked. (Egotastic!)

How about Shane West? Remember him?  He was in some movies.  I don’t remember which ones off the top of my head, but I know he was in something.  Anyway, he looks half dead and retarded. (MollyGood)

Akon hit someone at one of his concerts.  Again.  (WWTDD)

Hayden Panettiere bought a house without her creepy old boyfriend, so now he’s crying like a little bitch. (IDLYITW)

Speaking of little bitches, Kanye’s boycott of the VMAs (which he declared at last year’s VMAs) will be ended by his appearance at this year’s VMAs.  Man, when he takes a stand, nothing’s gonna stop him! (WIMB)

Amy Winehouse doggedly continues her quest to drink herself to death. (Daily Mail)

So THIS is why Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson broke up! (ASL)

Anne Hathaway is still beautiful even with a poofy tail.  Also still boring. (Popoholic)

David Spade fathered the spawn of a Playboy Bunny, continuing his baffling streak of nailing hot ass even though he looks like a chipmunk with special needs. (AB)

Carrie Underwood called Jessica Simpson a fatass.  Why these two dumb bitches are willing to throw down in public over fugly, boring Tony Romo is beyond me.  He must be packing some kinda serious magic in his pants. (Celebslam)

Tommy Lee has a new friend. (ImbringingbBloggingBack)