Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal made an impromptu visit to a sex toy and underwear emporium during their recent trip to London. Yeah, I’m sure Jake’s never been in some place like that before. Star Magazine says

While shopping in a Myla boutique on the West End, Reese beckoned [Jake] into the changing rooms… [with] various bra and panty sets.

Jake brought some items up to the cash register, then Reese paid with her credit card. On the way out of the store, the lovebirds stopped, giggling at a display of sex toys.

I’m sure you noticed gaping hole in Star’s lingerie show timeline. What was Jake doing from the time Reese went into the dressing room with the panties until the moment he arrived at the register with her card? Use your deductive reasoning skills. Was it:

A) Fetal position and lots of crying

B) Feigned enthusiasm and barely-contained vomit, or

C) Putting on the bra and panty set and belting out “I Feel Pretty” while twirling a parasol and high-stepping in peep-toe pumps

I think the only way the answer could be any more obvious is if it could physically bitch-slap you in the face and hiss, “Girlfriend please.”

Reese working some serious T-Rex arms while jogging last month:

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