Actor David Duchovny and wife Téa Leoni announced yesterday that they are separating, but NOT because David’s a pervert who just spent a month in sex rehab (although I’m sure that couldn’t have helped). The real reason behind the split? According to the Daily Mail:

It was not his ’sexual compulsion proclivity’ that caused the break-down of their marriage, but rather his discovery of explicit text messages on her mobile phone sent by actor Billy Bob Thornton. Five-times married Billy Bob met Téa when they made a comedy film together earlier this year called Manure.

The couple are separating after 11 years and two children.

Going from Fox Mudler to that deviant who used to pork Angelina Jolie during the heroin and cutting phase is like swapping out Marv Alberts for the goddamn Marquis de Sade. I hope Téa invested in a good genital cuff and several different kinds of broad-spectrum antiviral agents, because you can bet your sweet bippy she’s gonna need ‘em.