Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and you’re invited to watch! (Zack and Miri Footage)

Katy Perry looks like a phony with an old fashioned can opener. (Websters)

Lindsay passes on the “scissor sisters” pose and opts for eighteen pounds of synthetic hair on her album cover. (Bricks and Stones)

Carly Pope nude in “Young People Fucking!” I’m guessing that’s one to see with the future in-laws. (Mr. Skin)

German Brad Pitt meets the real Brad Pitt. I don’t see this going anywhere but the mastdarm, if you know what I’m saying. (Agent Bedhead)

Think you know when Amy Winehouse will kick the bucket? Here’s your chance to make a little cash on it! (The Rod Ryan Show)

Keeley Hazell looking… beat?! (Hollywood Tuna)

Mariah Carey’s soggy, saggy cleavage. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

John McCain drives the bus straight into the ground, full speed, tires spinning. (Mollygood)

Adriana Lima launches the new Dream Angels Wish fragrance… with sexy results. (The Bastardly)

Mischa Barton looks STOOOOONED. (Ninja Dude)

Lindsay Lohan is getting sued. Again. (The Blemish)

Heidi Montag’s “fashion line” gets the ax. And hopefully the kerosene and lit match. (CelebSlam)