Hi guys and dolls, it’s Sonya and I’ll be your writer today. Speaking of guys, Guy Ritchie’s future looks noticeably brighter–hell, anything would probably look a lot less depressing after being married to barracuda Madonna. He won’t have to put up with being scheduled in for “sex”, or have her blaming him for drinking up all the Ripped Fuel, or have to wake up to a penis in the small of his back. Divorce never sounded so sweet! The Mirror reports,

Guy Ritchie was celebrating last night after it was revealed he and Madonna will be divorced today.

The film director blurted out “Thank God” when told of the quickie hearing in London. Guy, who will receive none of the singer’s £300million fortune, made clear his only concern was the children.

He added: “It dragged on much too long. It was never ever about money.”

Friends revealed last night that the star offered him £10million and he turned it down flat.

Guy, 40, said last night: “It was never about money – never about her bloody art collection. I just wanted to settle it and move on.”

He added: “I didn’t raise any objections at any stage until she insisted the children lived permanently in New York.”

The couple have been at war almost constantly since the Mirror exclusively broke the news five months ago that their seven-year marriage had become a sham.

Have a pint for me, Guy!