Blake Fielder-Civil Dumps Amy Winehouse for German Model

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Sophie Scandorff and Amy Winehouse

I’ve seriously never heard of Sophie Schandorff, but apparently she’s some sort of German model.  She doesn’t seem that hot in the photos I’ve seen, but she appears to have all her teeth so I suppose I can see the appeal for Blake Fielder-Civil, who left Amy Winehouse for her.  Of course, Blake Fielder-Civil is a fug-ass retard so I’m not sure what Sophie’s getting out of this deal, but to each their own.  Says Amy of the split:

It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for sex. I fancied him like mad, like no one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?

I’m guessing no one was labouring under the delusion that Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil had a fairy-tale marriage filled with love and candy hearts and flowers, but still, I hope you didn’t just eat lunch, ‘cuz… barf-o-rama.  It turns out they were into lesbian threesomes and had freaky kinky sex all the time.  According to a friend of Winehouse’s:

Mostly it was Blake suggesting new things but Amy doesn’t need encouragement. They were like animals, at it all the time.

Just like they were with drugs, they pushed themselves to the limit.

They were into threesomes. It was Blake’s idea but Amy said she’d been with women before so it wasn’t a problem. She said she’s had a string of female lovers.

Whenever Blake said he wanted three-in-a-bed Amy would fix it.

They didn’t care about sharing themselves with others because it turned them on. They thought they were on this sexual journey together.

And the pair of them were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.

Um.  Ew.  Ew ew ewww guh-ross.  I would seriously rather reenact the scene from Audition when Aoyama eats a bowl of Asami’s vomit than even think about Blake Fielder-Civil or Amy Winehouse in anything resembling a sexual context.  As a matter of fact, just from typing the word sex in a sentence with their names, I think I can feel my vagina shriveling up and dying.  I’m pretty sure I’m asexual now.

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4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. That's not cool

    Oh God. And what kind of woman would go with that scabies infested dirty dicky after having been rejected by Amy Winehouse. I mean, that’s worse than your hand falling asleep when masturbating.

    SHHHHHHUUUDDEER!

  2. MJ

    “Of course, Blake Fielder-Civil is a fug-ass retard so I’m not sure what Sophie’s getting out of this deal, but to each their own.”

    Hello, you just said you’d never heard of her before now, so clearly she’s getting FAME. Duh.

  3. That's not cool

    Oh yeah.

  4. CookiCrunch

    If Whitney Houston can get back together with Bobby Brown……….

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