In shocking news, it turns out — shockingly! — that Beyoncé’s much-over-hyped secret identity album I am… Sasha Fierce isn’t so fierce.  It pretty much blows.  Shocking! (FourFour)

Equally shocking: Beyoncé’s still dressing like a drunk lunatic who raided Elton John’s dressing room. (SOMG)

Twilight made eleventy bajillion dollars over the weekend despite being the most effing retarded thing committed to film since the death of Anna Nicole Smith, because little girls are dumb as hell. (Pajiba)

The American Music Awards were last night.  Here’s a rundown of the performances. (Cele|bitchy)

And in AMA red carpet and backstage news, pretty much everyone either looked like ass, or acted like it. (WIMB)

Madonna and A-Rod are fighting.  About Kabbalah.  Which Madonna only barely understands, and yet she insists on being an oblivious, raving psycho about it. (Jossip)

Paris Hilton is a professional retard. (WWTDD)

So yesterday, at the Scientology Celebrity Centre, there was an incident with sword-wielding and shooting and death.  Of course.  (AB)

Boy George’s trial for imprisoning a hustler starts today. (ASL)

Suri doesn’t believe in pants.  She is so gonna get eaten alive by The Fug Girls someday, and it’s gonna be awesome. (Dlisted)

Cats are cuter than celebrities.  It’s true. (MollyGood)