Pete Wentz went into serious detail about his “amazing sex life” with wife Ashlee Simpson during an interview on the Howard Stern Show yesterday. This is usually the part where you hold my hair back while I kneel in front of the toilet. According to E! Online

He spares no detail about the first time they had sex—including the place, the mirrors and what he was thinking: “Oh, my God, you are banging the girl of your dreams. We have such a sexual chemistry,” Pete continues.

However, now that they have a 2-week-old baby, not so much. Instead, “We do other fun stuff. She’s not ready down there.” Yes, he really said “down there.”

Other fun facts about their sex life that we probably shouldn’t know—but do now—include the specifics of Ashlee’s boobs: “She’s a C, but I think with the breast milk it’s a D.” And that she’s up for anything (really, anything): “Let’s just say my wife likes me to have a good time.”

Last time I checked, “good time” didn’t mean “two hours of crying and passive anal sex with a dildo.” The correct term for that is actually “Cub Scout Camp Out.” Get it right, dummy.

Promoting Fall Out Boy’s new album ‘Folie à Deux’ and nose hair in Times Square yesterday:

Photo source: SPLASH NEWS