Tired of having your emotional jugular ripped out and shoved in your face while you drown in your own tears? Then “Nothing Like the Holidays” just might be for you. (Pajiba)

Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Premiere is going on RIGHT NOW on Funny or Die. (Funny or Die)

Madonna’s a big fat liar liar, pants on fire. (Bricks and Stones)

Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley find yet another way to whore out their image — with more reality television! (The Rad Report)

Kelli Pickler appears to be a victim of a gasoline fire. (Hollywood Tuna)

Brendan Fraser’s hair plugs must be negatively charged. (Websters)

Toddler Suri Cruise will be upgraded to Child Star Suri Cruise in less than twelve Xenubian cycles! (Holy Moly)

That chick from “Boy Meets World” got faaat. (Bastardly)

Tom Cruise’s “Top Ten Things You Read about Tom Cruise on the Internet” on Letterman last night is suspiciously lacking “co-habitates with a remote-controlled robot bride” and “Felch Master 2000.” (Socialite Life)

The Dog Whisperer does Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. But not in the ass like Pete wanted. (Seriously? OMG)

Now Britney Spears won’t be the only one smelling like a Whopper — Burger King launches its own beef-themed cologne! (College Candy)

See how your favorite actors‘ and actresses’ faces would look if they were eating hair pie. Oh, come on. You know you want to! (COED Magazine)

Finally, Oprah can be true to her authentic self and put nudity and swearing into her TV movies! (Defamer)