Michael Jackson’s health has reportedly taken a turn for the worse — British tabloids are claiming he is suffering from a rare lung condition that will eventually require an emergency transplant operation. Or as it’s known in Hindu circles, “karma.” The NY Daily News says

New York Times bestselling biographer Ian Halperin [says] Jackson has been diagnosed with Alpha 1-antitrypsin deficiency, an occasionally fatal genetic condition.

“He’s had it for years but it’s gotten worse,” Halperin [said]. “He needs a lung transplant. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding.” Jackson “can barely speak” and is having trouble seeing: “The vision in his left eye is 95 percent gone.”

Jackson shocked fans in July when he was photographed in wheelchair. The 50-year-old also received help walking when stepped out in Los Angeles earlier this month wearing a Zorro-style face mask.

Jackson’s rep was unavailable for comment Sunday, but the singer’s brother Jermaine didn’t deny the reports, telling Fox News, “He’s not doing so well right now. This isn’t a good time.”

Is a man still a man if ninety percent of his parts are donor or plastic? And — more importantly — is a man still a man if he is legally a white woman? I’m working on a new angle for my defense.