Natalie Dylan’s Virginity Now Worth $2.5 Million
Tags: auction, bid 2.5 million, natalie dylan, virginity
Remember the name Natalie Dylan? The college-age skank who’s auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder? Well, bidding just got crazy high — Natalie Dylan’s poonanny is currently holding at $2.5 million. That noise you just heard was the sound of every sphincter in your body spontaneously loosening at once. The smell will be forthcoming. According to the Associated Press
The highest bid for a night of passion with Natalie Dylan has come to $2.5 million. At least ten thousand men have out in bids to relieve Natalie Dylan, a cute brunette, of her virginity.
The winning bidder will get to enjoy Natalie Dylan’s favors at the famous Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada, where prostitution is legal. She has undergone a polygraph test and is willing to undergo a medical exam to prove her sexual status to the satisfaction of the winning bidder.
Look, I don’t see what the big screamin’ deal is about being a virgin. Consider the facts: 1) I was a virgin until my first marriage, because — as my high school boyfriend was always reminding me — doing it in the butt doesn’t count; 2) there was nothing special about losing my virginity, either, unless you’re a big fan of awkwardness and secretion-riddled fumbling followed by on overwhelming sense of shame that can only be eased by cutting; and 3) if you want a virgin, I can get you a virgin. Hell, I can get you a virgin by three o’clock this afternoon. And way cheaper than two point five million fucking dollars, too. It’s called the “The Local University Chapter of the Future Homemakers of America” and “The Society for Creative Anachronism Medieval Re-enactor’s Guild.” It’d behoove some wealthy business to do a little more research!
27 Comments, Comment or Ping
deka
kudos for being bold
Jan 13th, 2009
p0nk
if i had 2.5 mill, this is how i’d play it. pay the skank, bone her until my balls fell off, then sue the living shit out of her for 2.5 million plus for breach of contract because she wasn’t a virgin as advertised.
Jan 13th, 2009
missing-the-point
Why are her feet so big?
Jan 13th, 2009
hmmm
Fugly, no wonder she’s a virgin
Jan 13th, 2009
SamJones
Yuck, she is not even pretty. Check out that last picture. I could easily find more pretty ones for free!
Jan 14th, 2009
RichPort
This means anal too, right? Can I hold her nose when she goes down on me? Or is this just lights out, straight up missionary, cry on my shoulder because it hurts sex?
Jan 14th, 2009
Dj Mark Spinz
@ The bunny Ranch…..This Moron better get to throw down with every hooker in the joint for that kind of cash after the 5 min it’s gonna take to do this Virgin chick, then the owner better throw in a hand full of ecstasy, a pile of Coke, Oxygen, plenty of fluids, a camera crew and some ice to soak sore balls in.
2.5 MILLION bucks…. Get Teh Fuck Out Of Here !
Jan 14th, 2009
bionic bunny
wtf is up with her toenails?
i think she’s taking this whole “bunny ranch” thing a little too seriously!
Jan 14th, 2009
freemasochist
these fucking amateurs
Jan 15th, 2009
duke-62
YOU EITHER GOT TO BE NUTS TO PAY 5 MILL FOR THIS WHORE OR YOURE STUPID…
Jan 21st, 2009
bill
Who wants to do a virgin anyway? I mean if your going to spend that much on a piece of pie. Wouldn’t you like to get screwed right.At least find someone with the credentials to do you right if your gonna spend that kind of cash.
Jan 22nd, 2009
Toria
For $2.5m is she gonna learn to match her foundation to her neck?
Feb 14th, 2009
A-NON
just a lazy bitch lookin’ to make a quick buck off her snatch, she obviously has no self-respect or dignity, she’s making a public mockery of herself. Props for making some old guys balls shrivel, I hope he has a fucking heart attack on the first thrust, he’d deserve it for shellin’ out that much cash, oh, and let’s see a pic when she’s not in a studio or when she’s not ready for prom, lets see a pic when she first wakes up in the morning, bring a little reality into the situation. but hell that’s my opinion, just remember your name,
Natalie Dylan forever = WHORE.
Feb 14th, 2009
Jeremy
That chick is fucking dog ugly. WTF is going on here? Some Saudi Oil Tycoon® has too much money to spend? Got tired of the Whore Olympics? Backstory: Some stripper on the Howard Stern show describing rich Saudi oil men hiring them to compete, nude, in odd competitions. Prizes being cars and cash. Phew. Sorry.
This chick isn’t worth the normal rate at the Bunny Ranch. Not that I know what their normal rate is or anything……..
Feb 14th, 2009
Akolyte01
You kidding me? SCA chicks can get all the dick they’d ever want.
Feb 14th, 2009
night
Every hole is a goal. It’s all wet & warm, so why pay millions for it?
Who gives a fuck if it’s had cock in it before?
Some people really do have more money than sense!
Feb 15th, 2009
Barry
Howard Stern media promotion,people-Not Real
Feb 16th, 2009
Tucson Bass Player
What most of the “worldly” commenter’s fail to realize is that there are a lot of people in the world that a million dollars to them is like a $5.00 bill for the commenter’s. And all of you would pony up the $5.00. Admit it!
Feb 16th, 2009
RiRi
Nice big lebowski ref.
Feb 16th, 2009
Jeremy
What are you talking about Barry? Stern interviewed her and the Bunny Ranch owner for about 5 mins. Then proceeded to bash the whole thing. Hasn’t mentioned it since. Stern has as much to do with this as Beetlejuice has to do with Obama being elected.
Feb 17th, 2009
Sarah
although I for the most part agree with you the SCA thing was mean.
Feb 18th, 2009
bob
Wow, she made herself a world-famous prostitute. Kudos for being a well known whore throughout the entire planet. I think the only thing more despicable are the people bidding millions of dollars for one over-rated snatch. Do you know how much ass you could get with 2.5 million dollars?!?!?!
Feb 18th, 2009
GFYM
She looks like a man
Feb 20th, 2009
Uh...
Doesn’t anyone think that someone with $2.5 to throw away on something as decadent and hedonistic as this should have all of their money taken away and have it evenly distributed amongst the rest of us? What a pathetic waste. Men, women, and children starving down the street and people can get away with this shit.
Feb 23rd, 2009
Charles Geegee
Who would pay that much to pop a cherry. You can have sex with a girl for less than that. Whoever payed that much is probably a creep.
Feb 23rd, 2009
linda linda
For those of you who are speaking negatively on this issue, one reason is you guys dont have $2.5 millions to waste like this
Also, some said that ‘who cares if the p***y has bee used or not, it still feels good’ well to be honest dont you want to be the first to get in there? Driving a brand new car is better than an used car??? right???
I do agreed that she is marketing herself in a smart way for 2.5 millions dollars. If you want to scream at me because you think i am supporting her, email me at lb_strawberry@live.ca
On thing i do agree is she does look like a man and does have huge feet.
Mar 7th, 2009
Raw Jack
How much is sloppy seconds?
Jun 10th, 2009
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