Jeremy Piven is a Giant Douche
Tags: Jeremy Piven, page six, photo shoot, speed the plow
This week’s issue of Page Six Magazine has an article entitled “Is Jeremy Piven the Biggest Jerk in Showbiz?” In a word, yes:
During the Page Six photo shoot for his role in the “Speed the Plow,” he initially refused to pose for a standard head shot, sniping, “This isn’t my first time on the merry-go-round. You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre.”
After an hour or so, Piven finally let out a “gutteral moan” and “ripped the sleeves off his Armani shirt” to produce the photo above.
This guy is a douche, but he’s the worst kind of douche — the one who can’t be convinced that he’s anything short of fucking spectacular. The kind that angles the rearview mirror so he can admire his reflection while driving and who wears leopard print bikini briefs and sleeps on black satin sheets. If you could somehow choke down enough Maxim magazine and Summer’s Eve feminine wash to give yourself diarrhea, then look in the bowl after your asshole cooled down, I guarantee you’d find Jeremy Piven staring back up at you, giving you the ol’ “finger gun and wink” and spraying on more Tom Ford cologne. That’s when I’d start slamming the lid on his head until I saw blood and pray he goes down on the third flush.
Sure, Entourage is a show on HBO, but so was Arli$$:
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
spatz
i miss the days when this guy was a complete failure, and all his shows were cancelled. i also miss the days when he was bald. who is he fooling with that horrible toup?
Jan 26th, 2009
goldend
The kind that angles the rearview mirror while having sex…
Jan 26th, 2009
sonya
Ha ha..”who wears leopard print bikini briefs and sleeps on black satin sheets”.
Glen Goolia!
Jan 26th, 2009
abby
Nice Wedding Singer reference, Sonya!
Jan 26th, 2009
BarbadoSlim
You are a poet Abbs
Jan 26th, 2009
Carly
Gee, it’s almost surreal to think the coolest guy (John Cusack) actually regards Piven as a friend. Do these guys even hang out anymore? I wonder if Piven now thinks his star has eclipsed that of Cusack.
Jan 26th, 2009
JG
I don’t get it… these look like pretty good pictures. What are they complaining about?
Jan 26th, 2009
bionic bunny
referring to him as a douche gives me the heebie jeebies. i wouldn’t want him anywhere NEAR my lady bits!
Jan 27th, 2009
bk
I find this one of the best quotes Ive ever heard
If you could somehow choke down enough Maxim magazine and Summer’s Eve feminine wash to give yourself diarrhea, then look in the bowl after your asshole cooled down, I guarantee you’d find Jeremy Piven staring back up at you, giving you the ol’ “finger gun and wink” and spraying on more Tom Ford cologne
Nov 4th, 2009
Lindsay
This article had me cracking up. I can’t STAND Jeremy Piven, and really, I don’t get his appeal. Whoever said those were good photos, sorry. Wrong. You can see just see the douchiness, he doesn’t even have to speak to come off as an ass. You nailed it, Sonya, Glen Goolia all the way!
Jan 30th, 2010
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