How do you make High School Musical ever gayer? Put it on ice. (Socialite Life)

Perhaps Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends have puss cancer. Explains why they’re leaving a medical marijuana store. (CelebSlam)

Tony Romo cheated on Jessica Simpson! Maybe he’s just not a chubby chaser. (popbytes)

Hollywood rapes “Bonnie and Clyde” and then pisses all over its face by casting Hilary Duff as Bonnie. (Pajiba)

Rihanna in a bikini in the February issue of Mexican GQ! (Bastardly)

Lindsay Lohan in a bikini in Mexico, back when she still had meat on her bones. (Glamzilla)

Check your voicemail, because Bart Simpson has been leaving Scientology messages all over town. (Holy Moly)

Now you, too, can dress like Shauna Sand — just follow these five easy steps! (Scandalist)

First time I’ve used the words “Britney Spears” and “six-pack” without referencing Old Milwaukee. (Lainey Gossip)

I’m sure there’s a reason Pam Anderson’s stuffed in that shopping cart. Like a blue light special on Hepatitis, for example. (The Rad Report)

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer break up for good! Or until her desperate insecurity takes over again, anyway. (Celebitchy)

Ashlee Simpson wants you to know she’s “disgusted.” But not by her own music or her gay husband — she’s disgusted with us for making fun of her fatass sister. (Websters)

Hugh Jackman gets in touch with his inner child (Pacific Coast News Online)

Fun fact: there was actually a time Jennifer Love Hewitt looked good in a pair of panties. See for yourself! (Mr. Skin)