The Grammy Awards were last night, and they were a total snoozefest.  Admittedly, I was powerfully hungover all day yesterday, but I watched the Grammys and they were so boring that I swear I fell asleep at least nine times before they finally ended.  Every performance that wasn’t Radiohead sucked, and  nearly everyone looked like ass on fire.  The header pic is Coldplay, who (naturally) showed up looking particularly jackassy.  Nothing awesome happened at all, and if there were any funny acceptance speeches then they were during my bouts of unconsciousness.  Here’s a round-up of the shiny, the slutty, and the strange.

Carrie Underwood looked super boring, but otherwise okay I guess:

Miley Cyrus was dressed like she was attending the funeral of her own dignity:

Taylor Swift was in mourning with Miley, apparently:

The Jonas Brothers looked perfectly normal, in the sense that they were as douchey and retarded as they are every other day of their stupid lives (Who’s the lady with them? Their mum? Blame her):

Speaking of douchey retards, oh look, it’s Katy Perry:

I have nothing mean to say about Jennifer Hudson because the fact that she has the strength to get out of bed every day and not spend all her time crying or punching people is pretty inspiring, considering what her family has been through:

Not subject to the same immunity?  Paula Abdul, who appears to have killed Big Bird and fashioned his plucked skin into a dress like she’s Scarlett O’Hara’s special-needs evil twin:

Paula still managed to look better than Paris Hilton:

Another gatecrasher, another downgrade… Brooke Hogan is so orange I can’t even handle it:

I have no idea wtf Kim Kardashian was doing at the Grammys, but I’m more concerned about the fact that she was one of the most normal-looking people there:

Not normal at all: Lisa Rinna.  Holy shit lady, knock it off.  All of it; stop it right now!