Hi guys and dolls, it’s Sonya. Sorry to pull the ol’ rug out from under you, but Abby is taking one more week off to recoop, but I can promise you she’ll be back all bright eyed and bushy tailed next week. Oh, and I apologize in advance if the posts seem to be a bit later than usual–I’m on the West Coast and so my head is barely peeking out of the covers when all you East Coasters have already been up for a few hours. But don’t worry, I can’t really sleep in. I have four animals that all demand to be fed as soon as the sky starts getting light, plus a five year old. Anyhoo.

A whole week after singer Chris Brown was busted for smacking his bitch up, he finally managed to issue a public “apology” I’d say better late than never, but Chris has perfected the art of apologizing without actually admitting wrongdoing. New York Post elaborates:

The R&B singer, who was busted after allegedly beating his girlfriend, pop star Rihanna, said he was “sorry and saddened” – but also bashed the media for mostly getting the story “wrong.”

Brown, 19, took a full week to make the statement, which doesn’t even mention Rihanna by name. Nor does it give his version of what happened Feb. 8 between him and the 20-year-old singer in Los Angeles.

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired,” Brown said.

“I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones, and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person.”

“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong,” Brown said, without pointing out specific examples.

Yeah, uh-huh. There’s not much that drives me up the wall about these celebrity types as when they do something stupid/illegal and drag God into it. I’m pretty sure the big G-O-D doesn’t sit up there chatting with JC and the Holy Spirit, and he turns to them and says, “Yo, that Chris Brown, he’s my bro. Yeah, so he beat up that Reena or Rhinoceros or whatever that dumb broad’s name is, but man, she deserved it, yo. Bitch was provoking him. I’ve got his back. Me and Chris, we’re like this!“, as he crosses his gigantic glowy index and middle fingers.

Juuuuust don’t see it happening.

Related Stories

• Chris Brown is Sorry: The Video
• Rihanna Cooperating With Police in Case Against Chris Brown
• Chris Brown Arrested on Felony Battery Charges, Victim Suspected to be Rihanna
• Rihanna’s New Boyfriend Has a Violent Past
• Rihanna in the February 2010 Issue of W Magazine