Sara Jean Underwood in the brand-new Playboy lingerie ads. Rowr! (Use My Computer)

Because the Star Wars prequels and the fourth Indiana Jones weren’t enough, Hollywood finds an even better way to rape your childhood. (Pajiba)

Why are Prince William and Prince Harry being forced to get drunk and strip? (Socialite Life)

Guess who’s giving Kendra Wilkinson away at her wedding? Hint: it’s not Hef! (Gabby Babble)

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer pretend they’ve never met while buying toys at a sex shop. (Celebitchy)

Radioactive pedophile on the run after missing his day in court… and I’m not making a word of that up. (Holy Moly)

Alessandra Ambrosio in yet another unbelievable bikini shoot. (Egotastic)

Rihanna spotted in Mexico — without a bruise or visible scar! (Bastardly)

Hang on to your puss, ladies: David Beckham moves in with George Clooney. (Fatback)

Dexter’s wife is really hot. And I don’t mean “hot” in the sexy way; I mean she has pit stains that rival Roseanne Barr’s. (CelebNewsWire)

It’s too nauseating to be true — the Jonas Brothers shirtless, with 3D nipples. (Websters)