Jessica Alba grabs ahold of both of her melons at the same time. (CelebSlam)

See everything wrong with the Western Hemisphere in less than 30 seconds! (popbytes)

Katie Holmes tries to be sexy in next month’s issue of Glamour but just comes off looking pained. (Lainey Gossip)

Sublime reunites with a brand new lead singer. (The Rad Report)

Rose McGowan may have the most perfect hourglass figure since Sophia Loren. (UseMyComputer)

American Idol’s Adam Lambert might be gay. If you think glitter and purple hair and touching tongue with boys is gay. (Seriously? OMG)

What possessed Jennifer Aniston to eat dog food on live television? (Websters)

Britney takes the kiddies for a spin — on her lap and behind the wheel. Some people never learn! (Socialite Life)

Rob Patterson’s fug has totally rubbed off on Carmen Electra. (Bricks and Stones)

See the video for Will Ferrell’s “Bat Fight!”(Allie is Wired)

Snoop Dog joins the nation of Islam! Expect all his bitches to be in burqas in his next video. (Holy Moly)

The Top Ten Nude Jersey Girls! (Mr. Skin)

Here’s what’s wrong with “Episode I: The Phantom Menace” — the bubbles are gone. Presumably because Jar Jar Binks’ swallowed them. (Pajiba)

Stacey Keibler goes all Farrah Fawcett in Australian FHM. (Bastardly)