Scarlett Johansson Does French Vogue

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Scarlett Johansson April 2009 French Vogue

Scarlett Johansson is on the April 2009 cover of Vogue Paris, looking like she could fall asleep at any second as the magazine labels her “The Anti-Marilyn” (as in Monroe).

Whatever, France.  Marilyn Monroe may have been a bipolar pill popping floozy, but she was at least 763% more interesting and charismatic than stupid dumb Scarlett Johansson.  The only things ScarJo has going for her are a fantastic rack and a smokin’ husband.  From the neck up, she’s usually at least eight kinds of hot mess, and every time she opens her mouth she somehow manages to be both completely jackassy and intensely boring at the same time.  Also, nobody wants to be this familiar with her nostrils.  Knock it off, France.  Go do something useful.  Make me some brie.  With sliced strawberries.  And those tiny toast crackers that taste kinda like unseasoned croutons.  Jesus, I’m starving.  Fix it, France!  Lazy bastards.

The real Marilyn:

Marilyn MonroeMarilyn MonroeMarilyn MonroeMarilyn MonroeMarilyn Monroe

4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. BarbadoSlim

    “…every time she opens her mouth she somehow manages to be both completely jackassy and intensely boring at the same time….”

    Stephen Hawking labeled such phenomena as: “Vortex of Stupid”

  2. Jon

    But those tits….mmmm mm good.

  3. figgy

    Can you imagine what they’d do with that photo of Marilyn nowadays? OMG SHE HAS BULGES PHOTOSHOP HER!

  4. Clement Anastasia

    Sexy video with Scarlett Johansson online and free
    http://scarlett–johansson-x.blogspot.com/?id=47688565&s=y

    full video

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