What the fuck is this shit?  First there was the Snuggie, designed for people too stupid to operate a goddamn blanket, but who still really want to waste $15 on what is essentially a robe they put on backwards.  That was pretty retarded, but this…

This is worse.

This thing is the Peekaru.  It is a product designed for the proud parent who’s interested in taking the tattered remains of their dignity and beating it to a bloody pulp.  And it can be yours for the bargain price of just $79.95!

Holy shit.

Okay, look.  Babies are kinda creepy to begin with, because they have gigantic heads and big anime eyes and they’re always looking at you like they really want to gnaw through your cranium and snack on your brainpan, if only they could figure out how their thumbs work so they could hold your head still as they chew.  This thing?  Takes all the regular baby creepiness and wraps it up in a retarded Snuggie package and ties the whole thing up with a big Alien Chestburster bow.

Let’s go in for a terrifying close-up:

That shit ain’t right.  Make it stop.  Somebody call Sigourney Weaver, RIGHT NOW.

Look at its eyes!  Kill it.  Oh my God, KILL IT!!