Spencer Pratt challenges Ashton Kutcher to a douche-off. (WIMB)

Jake Gyllenhaal gets grabby with Reese Witherspoon. (PITNB)

All your favourite TV shows will be canceled because God hates you. (Pajiba)

Madonna fell off her high horse. (TheBlemish)

Jessica Alba looks like a hybrid of Katie Holmes and Britney Spears. (IDLYITW)

Speaking of Britney, she’s still totally bonkers. (ASL)

And STILL speaking of Britney, her stalker says she was “just filming a documentary”. (TheSuperficial)

Russell Crowe gets a Gladiator haircut for Nottingham. (Scandalist)

Kim Kardashian fell asleep on a beach in Mexico and got fried to a crisp. (WWTDD)

Jenna Jameson tries to look more like a mother. (Cele|bitchy)

22-year-old Welsh actress Stephanie Parker found hanged. (AllieIsWired)

The Pirates of the Caribbean don’t look so great when stripped of all their CGI. (AB)

Brooke Hogan and her wee tiny “boyfriend” film a new music video. (HolyMoly)

Sarah Jessica Parker looks like an idiot, and so does her ventriloquist’s dummy husband Matthew Broderick. (EvilBeet)

The cast of “Married… With Children” looks totally adorable at the TV Land Awards. (S?OMG!WTF?)