George Clooney is coming to the legal defense of Cindy Crawford’s husband’s Rande Gerber, who is currently embroiled in a sexual assault lawsuit filed by a pair of former waitresses who claim they were 86ed from his restaurant after refusing his sexual advances. According to Us Weekly

While working at [Gerber's] Moonstone Lounge in San Diego, one of the women claims the supermodel’s husband attempted to kiss her three times during the night, then “put his hand up [her] dress in between her legs in an attempt to fondle her crotch.”

“I was with Rande the entire night — as were a lot of people,” [Clooney] said in a statement Monday. “They will all say the same thing that I’m saying. This event never happened. Period.”

A Gerber Group spokesperson [said] “Mr. Gerber and Mr. Clooney will take lie detector tests to prove that the allegations against Mr. Gerber are false.”

That Gerber fellow better pray that his judge is a woman, because everybody knows that no female mortal can resist the mischievous grin and smoldering eyes of the Silver-Haired Rake. His mere presence makes bras spontaneously unhook themselves and panties disappear into thin air. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up on the floor of a Toledo airport bar bathroom without any underpants to speak of. It’s just a shame that I always somehow manage to miss actually seeing him when he’s there.

Wife Cindy looking gorgeous at the Costume Gala Institute last night: