Quickies: Rock the Boat

May 26, 20090

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Shauna Sand’s god-awful tits make Tori Spelling’s look completely natural. (Bastardly)

Holly Madison gets Hef off her back — literally. (TMZ)

Evangelina Lilly likes peeing near Matthew Fox. Um, gross. (CelebNewsWire)

Christian Bale: the flattest imagining of the John Connor to date. (Pajiba)

Mel Gibson confirms his Russian whore is pregnant on Jay Leno. (Websters)

Danielle Lloyd viciously attacked at a nightclub! (Holy Moly)

Kourtney Kardashian bends over and takes it. Metaphorically, though, not like her sister. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Brooke Shields to world: I was a 22-year old virgin! (Socialite Life)

Katy Perry shows off her tits in Complex magazine. Wow, that’s unexpected. (Egotastic)

Victoria Beckham goes for that military bondage look made so popular by detainees in Abu Ghraib. (UseMyComputer)

Gisele Bundchen is knocked up! (Fatback)

Madonna shows off her nipples for the 3,585th time. (CityRag)

Local news reports that Eaton Beaver is 69! Ha ha. (Best Week Ever)

Paris Hilton gets kicked off a yacht in Cannes for being too big of a whore. True story. (Celebrity Waste)