Paris Hilton was just on Letterman last week talking about the blissful happiness of her relationship with Doug Reinhardt (video below), so I’m sure you guys will be shocked — just SHOCKED, I tell you — to hear that the fairy tale has ended.  From Us:

“In response to inquiries on whether Paris Hilton has split with Doug Reinhardt, we can confirm this is true. They are no longer together,” her rep tells Us of the couple, who have been dating since February. “They remain friends and we ask that you please respect their privacy. Paris will not discuss the relationship further.”

As recently as April, Hilton declared that she’d wed Reinhardt.

“He’s going to be my husband,” she told E!. “We’re best friends. It’s not like we just met. We’ve known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I’m really in love and really happy.”

HAHAHAHA!  Ahem… sorry.  In related news, it seems that in the midst of releasing statements to everyone on earth, Paris and/or her rep forgot to inform just one person — and that person was Doug Reinhardt.  From E! Online:

Too bad Doug didn’t get the memo.

After hearing the breakup news from Team Paris, we contacted Doug earlier this afternoon, and he insisted, “No, that’s not true. Everything is OK between us.”

Oops.

Heeeee!  Oh man, Paris Hilton is SUCH an assclown.  You’d think that at some point she’d learn to stop cramming those size 17 feet in her mouth, but she’s just so eternally remedial.  It’s fascinating to me how she can even remember not to walk on all fours or eat her own feces.

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt, just days before their split:

Paris on The Late Show with David Letterman on 5 June 2009 yammering incessantly about her “love” and how perfectly happy they are together: