This is Ashley Greene at the Rock & Republic Robertson store opening.  Ashley Greene is in those Twilight movies, where she plays Alice Cullen.  Twilight sucks hard like a Dyson vacuum, but you know what doesn’t suck?  Cleavage.  Everybody loves breasts, right?  Right.

I do have one question, though.  Why is Ashley having so much trouble just standing still?  Why the hell are all these Twilight chicks so damn clumsy and awkward looking?  When they’re in dirty jeans, Chuck Taylors & sloppy hoodies they do an okay job of keeping themselves upright, but stick ‘em in a dress and a pair of heels and all of a sudden they’re like giraffes with fetal alcohol syndrome.  How is it possible that every one of these bitches always looks like she’s about to tip the fuck over?  They can’t all be stoners, can they?  Listen, there’s nothing wrong with smoking up once in awhile, but there is a TIME and a PLACE for rendering yourself the mental equivalent of a squirrel after a frontal lobotomy, and public appearances for YOUR JOB are not it.

Whatever.  Boobs: