Michael Jackson Has Died

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michael jackson died

Holy shit. You pass out at the neighborhood pool for a few hours, come back and Michael Jackson is dead. That’s two celebrities in one day, for those of you keeping a death toll. TMZ says

Michael Jackson has died. He was 50.

Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.

A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.

Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but he was completely unresponsive.

Wow. I always figured he’d die on the operating table or erotically asphyxiating himself in a burqa some little kid’s closet. I have to say, this was much more dignified way to go.

In his honor, more naked pictures of Bo Derek (first printed in Lui Magazine in May 1980 before appearing in Playboy), since everyone seemed to enjoy them so much today:

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. missing-the-point

    Another useless individual gone… finally God is making some space down here again!

  2. Wench.

    I think it’s wrong to have laughed as much as I did reading that post.

    I phoned my mum to tell her and she wept like a child. Not sure if it’s too soon for me to make more paedophile/conspiracy theory jokes, yet?

    Alas, we all know he’s laughing around the corner with Elvis and 2Pac. Some people will go to great lengths to get outta’ debt.

  3. sonya

    With all the plastic surgery his body has gone through, it’s NEVER going to decompose. Way to be earth-unfriendly, Michael.

  4. Kenny Powers

    Has anyone asked Speidi their thoughts on this happy day?

  5. Jon

    Someone asked me, I wonder if Michael Jackson is black or white wherever he is now, and I said - neither, he’s red with horns…lol

    I think the real Michael Jackson died about 20 years ago.

  6. spatz

    Michael Jackson was many things, but useless is definitely not one of them. putting everything else aside, almost every pop song sine thriller came out is in some way inspired by something Michael Jackson did 25 years ago. Gotta give him that.

    but i do agree that he has been gone long before this.

  7. sharpey

    A Bit convenient eh, Jacko dying considering he owed Millions of dollars, he was suffering from stress, depression, still wrapped in the public gaze re abuse scandals etc…. so ermm let me think, he calls Elvis’s mates, and says, “ANY CHANCE YOU CAN GET RID OF ME?!!”

  8. Although Michael has been out of the public eye for quite a while, this is still hard news to take. I cannot say that I am or have been the greatest MJ fan (I was too young when he rocked) but I definitely have a great respect for him as an artist. The news of his death just sadend my day and probably my weekend…

  9. Pete

    When Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital my first and audible reaction was “Man, I hope it’s not a children’s hospital.” Does that make me a bad person? Anyway RIP MJ !

  10. Kay_Son

    No matter what anyone says negative about this man, the matter of it all is that he touched each and everyone of us in a speacial way…and he will be greatly missed….RIP MJ, and condolences goes out to the Jackson family…

    don’t be saddened that he’s gone,
    he’s in a better place.
    where there is no wrong,
    judgment is according to the heart.
    But until then his legacy lives on within us all….~kay_son~

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