Day: August 4, 2009

tricia_helfer_critics

Joe Jonas keeps it all in the family by dating his fellow Disney sister. (Wonderwall)

Ashley Tisdale’s shitty nose job from a thousand different angles. (UseMyComputer)

The 2009 MTV Video Music Award nominations! Or as I like to call it, crap, crap and more crap. (Allie is Wired)

Because the appropriate 30 days has past, all the best dead Michael Jackson jokes. (CelebJihad)

See what Dane Cook’s groupies look like. “Cheap whores” is a good start. (The Dirty)

Lou Diamond Phillips NAKED! (omg blog)

Tommy Lee is back to eating on Pamela Anderson, and here’s the picture to prove it. (Websters)

Brooke Hogan’s album sells a whopping 3,381 copies. Probably because she’s so disgustingly sweaty in these pictures. (Hollywood Rag)

Ashton Kutcher is sleeping his way to the top! (Socialite Life)

Adrienne Curry looking unbelievably hot in a black bikini. (Moe Jackson)

Ashlee Tisdale topless bikini pictures! (The Grumpiest)

The new G.I. Joe movie sucks so bad that they’re not releasing it for critics to bash. (Seriously? OMG)

Jason Wahler gets drunk and attacks someone with his shoe. And possibly his face impetigo. (ICYDK)

Angelina Jolie snubbed by Vanity Fair! (Celebitchy)

Now you can see exactly what Britney Spears’ ass sweat looks like. (CityRag)

Tricia Helfer looks like she was assembled in a plastics factory by aliens posing as migrant workers. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

miranda kerr camel toe

Some posts need no explanation at all. Some posts seem to just fall out of the sky and land gently in your lap like a magical gift from heaven. This is one of those posts, boys and girls. Shh… let’s not spoil it with words. Let’s just look deeply into each others’ eyes and say a silent prayer of gratitude while simultaneously going for our zippers. It’s what Jesus would want us to do.

Miranda Kerr on the runway at the David Jones show yesterday:

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naomi

Rage-fueled supermodel Naomi Campbell is at it again! According to the NY Daily News

Naomi has been accused of attacking a photographer and putting him in the hospital during a holiday in Italy with her billionaire boyfriend. The photog claims: “First she hit with her bag, screaming at me, and then she tried to slap me. I managed to avoid her – but her nails still got my eye.”

Although formal charges have not been filed, it stands to reason that Naomi did assault the photographer. Like this time she assaulted a stewardess on British Airways. Or this time she scratched up her therapist. Or this time she chucked a cell phone at her housekeeper. Hey, if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, watch out, because it might just be Naomi Campbell in a duck costume. I wouldn’t go poking it with sticks or making eye contact or anything.

On holiday in Italy with billionaire boyfriend Mikhail Prokhorov:

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PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

jennifer love hewitt

Good thing Jennifer Love Hewitt went with the stacked wedge heels while playing tennis yesterday. Sneakers would have just made her look fat.

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PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

I don’t watch televised golf because I find it stuffy and boring and nobody’s shirtless, but Tiger Woods’ little stunt at the Buick Open this weekend just might change all that. (Fast forward to the 12 second mark in the above video and you’ll see what I’m talking about.) Tiger totally farted on live TV. Then he starts laughing about it, so there’s no denying it was him, because there’s no laughing or having fun in golf ever. Personally, I think farts are just what golf needs. Work in slow-motion boobies and full-contact sparring on the 18th hole and the PGA Tour viewership will quadruple overnight. Trust me! If there’s one thing I know, it’s the power of the lowest common denominator. Just have a look at this site.

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