Ohhhhh Mischa. Poor crazy, skinny fat girl. Your world is all upended. You’re skinny, yet you can get a double chin that would please a Rubenesque painter. You have a skinny little behind, yet you still have copious amounts of cellulite. You get 5150′d against your will.  I’m troubled, dear flower child, that you will do yourself some serious harm that would stop the release of your upcoming show, “The Beautiful Life”, of which this is the first I’ve heard about, so that can’t be a good sign, but I’d like to believe you could be in a show that I’d remotely care about, and since this one is about you being a model turned drug addict, I really believe you could pull it off, because I’m really a nice person at heart and don’t want it to bomb and send you into an even deeper spiral of crazy and do something dreadful like off yourself, because then we couldn’t write about you anymore. But I guess that makes me not so much a guileless, kind soul, but more like a heartless guttersnipe. But let’s not squabble about semantics. Let’s have a chat sometime, okay?

Love,

Sonya

At the photoshoot for “The Beautiful Life”: