Aug 19, 2009

Britney Spears’ Letterman Top Ten

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Britney Spears made a “surprise” appearance on Letterman last night for the first time since announcing her divorce from husband Kevin Federline in 2006, reading off the night’s Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Britney Spears Were President in a little black bikini:

10. I’d be the first president to wear eyeshadow since Nixon

9. We would only invade fun places, like Cabo

8. Free pie for everybody

7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas

6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance “Circus Fantasy”

5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes

4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy

3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade

2. Three words: Vice President Diddy

1. Finally, the media would pay some attention to me!

Those were lame and uninspired. Kind of like Letterman’s show for the last three years. So, as a gift to you, I present my own Top Ten Ways the Country Would Be Different if Britney Spears Were President:

10. Laxatives replace bald eagle as national bird

9. New anthem: “Oops, I Did it Again” club remix

8. Air Force One repainted pink and upholstered in glitter

7. New “I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours” policy regarding foreign heads of state

6. Government subsidizing for Frito-Lay and Hostess

5. Inauguration dinner at the Taco Bell

4. The President’s cabinet: Red Bull, Vodka, Correctol, and Xanax

3. All national addresses to be lipsynched and choreographed and accompanied by two submissives in tutus suspended from a ceiling cable.

2. New flag contains 5150 stars

and the number one way the Country Would Be Different if Britney Spears Were President

1. Read my “lips”: No new underpants!

9 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Jon

    She couldn’t do any worse then the idiot in office now…ohhhh ba dum boom.

    Aug 19th, 2009

  2. abby

    Agreed.

    Aug 19th, 2009

  3. Zaraza

    NEW SEX-TAPE with Britney Spears Is Real!! and Hot!!!
    in fact, it burns when I pee its so hot!!!

    Aug 19th, 2009

  4. Jon

    You burn when you pee? sure it’s not a paris hilton tape? lol stupid spam.

    Aug 19th, 2009

  5. joecoz

    Spam edits make me happy.

    Aug 19th, 2009

  6. abby

    Thank you. I go the extra mile.

    Aug 19th, 2009

  7. lindsay

    hello,everyone!!
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    The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs..
    what’s the most important is that you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one.
    I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .You should check it out!!!
    GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    Aug 19th, 2009

  8. Reinaldo Metzinger

    WoW SEX-TAPE with Britney Spears!!

    WebCam video from Hotel here:

    http://britney-spears-sexxy.blogspot.com/?id=10163295&s=y

    Oct 5th, 2009

  9. Clemente Beldin

    Download sex tape with Britney Spears here:
    Britney Spears hot videos
    And more hot videos with other celebs!
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    Oct 12th, 2009

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