Quickies: No Eye Contact, Please

Sep 2, 20091

shakira

Renee Zellweger involved in a car crash! (Wonderwall)

It’s confirmed — Halle Berry is pregnant! (Fatback)

Megan Fox admits she’s mentally unstable. (Hollywood Rag)

As soon as Ashton Kutcher saunters on screen, you want to bash his fucking skull out his fucking sphincter. (Pajiba)

Spencer Pratt is now officially a king. Apparently “King of Douches” didn’t cut it. (WIMB)

Lindsay Lohan does red lips and a white bikini in another pitiful attempt to be Marilyn Monroe. (The Blemish)

Diane Kruger looking smokin’ hot in the September issue of Mademe Fargo. (UseMyComputer)

PopoWOW — Kevin Federline is a fucking lardass. (Socialite Life)

Shakira sexes up Vanity Fair magazine. (Moe Jackson)

Sharon Osbourne slapped with another assault charge! (Holy Moly!)

Flavor Flav gets turned away from the Jacksons’ home — but not because he’s over the age of 10! What gives? (Vh1)

Adrienne Curry topless bikini pics! (Glamzilla)

Ha ha: LaToya Jackson’s “official” home music video is god-awful. (Allie is Wired)

Tony Romo’s new girlfriend Candice Crawford looks like a skinnier version of Jessica Simpson. (Bitten and Bound)

What’s Jon Gosselin doing with a stripper? (Celeb Jihad)

Heidi Klum’s naked coffee table book. Sure trumps Kramer’s idea! (Mr. Skin)