It’s understandable that Lindsay Lohan is being offered $900K to share her delightful charms in Playboy.  Because Playboy is run by a senile, half blind old man, that’s why. (CelebNewsWire)

Chris Brown though Rihanna’s beating photo was a fake. Maybe he “forgot” what fists can do to a lower mandible. (Hollywood Rag)

Miss USA thinks Heidi Montag gave a great performance at the pageant and might become the next Britney Spears.  In other news, the current Miss USA may set a record as the dumbest person in the history of ever. (WIMB)

Diane Kruger is awesome, and also happens to wield awe-inspiring beauty. (AB)

Oh look, a trailer for the inexplicable and unnecessary sequel to The Boondock Saints. (Pajiba)

Megan Fox gave an interview to Wonderland magazine and — surprise! — she said something completely fucking retarded. (IDLYITW)

Blake Lively slipped a nipple. (Egotastic)

Miley Cyrus is a homewrecker. (Celebslam)

Michael Jackson might be buried today.  You know, if they get around to it.  They’re busy.  It’s only been a couple months, dude, what’s your hurry? (WWTDD)

Kim Kardashian Tweeted a picture of herself in her knickers, because of course she did.  She’s a Kardashian.  It’s not like she has any skills she can market. (Popoholic)

Tori Spelling’s marriage to that famewhoring douche with the gigantor head might be a sham.  Or maybe that douche has not only a gigantor head, but also worthless and backstabbing friends.  Either way, does anyone care? (Dlisted)

Finally, a semi reasonable explanation for why Jamie Foxx has been such a mentally deficient assface all these years. (ASL)

Lady Gaga would like you to believe she is high brow. (Celebitchy)

Classic TV show porn parodies! (CelebrityOdor)