Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael did what any good father fearing for his daughter’s well-being would do yesterday — he went on the Maury Povich show to talk about what a used-up dead-inside whore she is. If only more dads would follow in his footsteps! TMZ says

First Mike called Lindsay a “hollow person” … then claimed there was “nothing left in her” — and finally said he “couldn’t even look at her.”

The show was called “You’re 14 … Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant.”

You just can’t beat Maury Povich for a good episode title. Just for fun, I made a little test to gauge your Povich-prowess. Only three of the following ten episode titles are made up. The rest are all too real. See if you can guess which ones are the fakes! Answers after the jump.

10. Can You Save Me? I Am Terrified of Cotton Balls and Frogs!

9. I’ve Had Plastic Surgery 60 Times… I Want More

8. My Fiancee Needs to Know… I’m a Bisexual Elvis-Impersonator!

7. Shot In The Face And Set On Fire…I’m Lucky To Be Alive

6. I’m an Overweight Teen with Parkinson’s and I Won’t Stop Having Sex

5. 36 Men Tested… I’ll Prove You’re The Father Today

4. My 5 Year Old Weighs 212 Pounds

3. Violent Teen Girls Who Beat Their Families…Caught on Tape!

2. I Need to Tell You… I Was Born with Both Male and Female Genitalia

1. My Fear of Mustard and Pickles is Ruining My Life

Lindsay showing off a new tattoo last night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Fakes: numbers 2, 6, and 8. And if you got all three right, you need to sit down and seriously re-think your life.