Michael Lohan’s mission to get daughter Lindsay into rehab has now progressed into a shock-and-awe media campaign, complete with his airing a list of all the prescription drugs she’s currently using. According to Page Six

[Michael said], “She is taking Adderol, Xanax, Paxil. She’s a beautiful girl but she looks 100 years old.”

For those of you who didn’t regularly buy pills from your RA’s boyfriend freshman year, Paxil is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Adderall is used to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and narcolepsy. Xanax is prescribed for anxiety disorders and panic disorders. So unless she’s a hyperactive narcoleptic Korean war vet with polycystic ovarian syndrome and compulsive hand-washing issues, she’s taking waaaay too much goddamn medication. I bet the words “Glaxo-Smith Kline” and “Pfizer” are permanently branded into her liver by now.

And now, for someone who doesn’t look 100 years old — Megan Fox in VIP magazine: