When bad breast implants happen to good people… (The Dirty)

Your first look at the naked-but-not-full-frontal Levi Johnston Playgirl pics! (omg blog)

Video of Lindsay Lohan snorting blow with Brandon Davis. (CelebNewsWire)

Chris Brown’s wiener has something important to say. (Hollywood PQ)

Ashley Tisdale bikini pictures put the “meh” in “mediocre.” (The Grumpiest)

Halle Berry’s dad used to beat her! (Socialite Life)

Mariah Carey’s ass looks like a goddamn pancake. (Hollywood Rag)

Move over, Carrie Prejean — Miss Japan 2008 and Miss Trinidad and Tobago 2008 star in a hardcore anal lesbian sex tape. (TMZ)

And you can watch that Miss Japan and Miss Trinidad and Tobago hardcore anal lesbian sex tape right here (scroll to the bottom of the page). (Mr. Skin)

Ashley Green will get your blood pressure up at the premiere of New Moon. (Moe Jackson)

Whereas Jennifer Love Hewitt will just raise your cholesterol a couple of points. Fatty! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

As if you need a reason — gorgeous Salma Hayek pics. (CityRag)

Ever wondered what Megan Fox would look like 150 pounds heavier? Here you go. (CelebJihad)

Ick and double ick: Avril Lavigne is rubbing pork pies with Wilmer Valderrama. (Celebitchy)

Rosie O’Donnell looks like complete and total ass. The years have not been kind, my friends. Nor has the sun. (CelebSlam)

Did Jessica Biel get even more work done on her face? She’s starting to look like a goddamn alien. (UseMyComputer)