Tiger Woods finally spoke publicly today about the many affairs that surfaced following his Thanksgiving accident. He said (via People Magazine):

“I want to say to each of you simply and directly: I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible, selfish behavior. I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish. People want to know how I could have done these things to my wife Elin and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say.

Elin and I have started the process of discussing the damage caused by my behavior,My real apology will not come in the form of words, but my behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss. What we say to each other will remain between the two of us.

I had a lot of time to think of what I have done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before.

The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did is not acceptable – and I am the only person to blame. I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me.”

And then, in regards to rumors that his wife beat the ever-living shit out of him the night of the accident:

I have a lot to atone for, but there’s one issue I really want to discuss. Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt or attacked me on Thanksgiving night. It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that: Elin never hit me that night or any other night. There has never been [any] domestic violence in our marriage. Ever.”

Praising his wife’s “enormous grace and poise,” the embattled athlete said he hoped the media would focus its attention on him and his indiscretions – not his wife or children.

I could really give a shit his stupid sexual “issues.” All I want to know is, how am I gonna get back the 20 minutes of “The Price is Right” I lost to this crap? Huh? The answer is, I can’t! You just stop and think about that, Tiger Woods.