Lemme tell you a little story about those Kardashian whores and how they think their jackassy reality show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” should be made into a movie.  Er… well, that’s actually the whole story, so… The End!  Oh, except for the part about how Us magazine has a list of actors the slutzillas think should play them in the movie:

In celebration of their season finale (more than 4.8 million viewers tuned in Sunday, making it the most-watched telecast ever), Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney jokingly made a list on their website of who should play them if a fictional version of their E! show ever made it to the big screen.

Their casting highlights:

KIM: Khloe and Kourtney said Jennifer Lopez, but Kim feels Penelope Cruz would be a better fit.

KHLOE: Kim picked Liv Tyler; Kourtney picked Mandy Moore. Khloe’s choice? Drew Barrymore.

KOURTNEY: Kim said Vanessa Hudgens; Khloe said Eva Longoria-Parker

KRIS JENNER: The girls would like to see either Sharon Stone, Meg Ryan or Catherine Zeta- Jones play their mom/manager.

SCOTT DISICK: The three sisters were all in agreement on who should play Disick: Christian Bale from American Psycho. “We see a definite resemblance there,” they wrote on the site.

Yeah, I know The Pregnant One already had its baby, but I can’t be bothered to remember its name so until it does something noteworthy, it’s gonna stay The Pregnant One.  Anyway, the point here is that The Pregnant One thinks her boyfriend Scott Dickbag Disick looks exactly like Patrick Bateman of American Psycho.  Which he does, of course, but Sweet Jesus I can’t believe she’s AWARE OF THAT and she still lets him insert his Tab A into her Slot B.

In other news, as long as that Dickbag Disick dude’s alive, I’m gonna remain disappointed until he splits one o’ them Kardashians’ head open with an axe.  I mean, where’s his commitment to his character, huh?

The (formerly) Pregnant One and her boyfriend, Psycho Dickbag, at Jet on Friday: