I don’t know anyone who watches “The Bachelor,” and if I found out that someone I knew did watch “The Bachelor,” it would be the end of our acquaintanceship forever, but I’m still going to make you read about it because I went to high school with that one slut who got kicked off for fucking a producer while they were taping. No, seriously. I swear. I make a lot of shit up, but this is the honest-to-God truth: Rozlyn Papa and I both went to The Collegiate School in Richmond, Virginia in ’97. She was a sophomore when I was a senior. And, incidentally, she was just as big a slut then as she is now, except without the fake tits and new lips and the sex tape that’s about to hit the interwebs. TMZ says

The tape is being shopped to a variety of XXX companies all over all over L.A. — including LiveJasmin.com

We spoke to a rep from the website who tells us he saw the tape and “it’s definitely Rozlyn… performing one sexual act with a well-endowed gentleman.”

A rep for Papa [says] the reality star has, “no knowledge of any tape.”

Notice she says she has no “knowledge” of the tape. Not that there isn’t one; just that if there happens to be one out there, she was under duress/drugged/suffering from amnesia when it happened and doesn’t remember it. Yeah. Try telling the arresting officer who approaches the window that you have no knowledge of any “alcohol” or “drugs” or even any “car” for that matter, and could he please explain what is meant by “bridge abutment” and “I-40 exit ramp at 72 miles an hour,” because you have no knowledge of those things, as it happens. All that’ll get you is a billy club to the face and Christmas in jail. That stupid bitch isn’t fooling anybody.