Sorry about canonballing the Lindsay Lohan posts today, but she’s back in the news again this morning for being the chief suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex watch. And by “chief suspect” I of course mean “only suspect.” TMZ says

The watch belongs to one of Lindsay’s “friends,” who accidentally left it at Lindsay’s house earlier this year and never got it back.

Cops have photographic evidence which could prove Lindsay knows exactly where the Rolex went.

So far, no arrests have been made in the case — but it’s another major issue for Lohan, who seems to be in a downward spiral.

Lindsay denied any involvement in the theft.

I think it’s pretty obvious that Lindsay’s being framed by dirty cops. Like that one time she was framed for stealing a bunch of clothes from her former best friend. And then there’s that time she was framed for stealing a fur coat from a nightclub. And the time she was framed for stealing some Louis Vuitton clothing from an Elle photoshoot in 2007. And also the jewelery from another Elle photoshoot in 2009. And also the jewelery she had on loan from XIV Karats. Well, no more, my friends. Lindsay, like Roger Rabbit and Dr. Richard Kimble, will prove once and for all that she has been the victim of a sinister plot methodically executed over the last five years by former acquaintances and strangers scattered all over the country. Then she’ll single-handedly expose the dirty cops’ secret volcano lair and laugh the laugh of the truly carefree.