Lindsay Lohan tried to have Avril Lavigne tossed out of the Chateau Marmont last week after Avril called her a “loser” in front of a bunch of people. Please hold your eye rolls and condescending sighs until the end. According to Page Six

An eyewitness [said]: “Avril was at a table with friends when Lindsay came over to say hi.

But as soon as she approached, Avril launched at her and said: ‘Get the hell out of my face, you are fake, you are a loser. I don’t like false people. Stay away from me and my friends.’

Lindsay was furious and screamed back: ‘Don’t threaten me!’ She then stormed off to security and tried to get them to kick Avril out. They refused to force Avril to leave. Lindsay eventually stormed off.”

Sources tell us that the feud kicked off when Lohan snubbed Lavigne at an event — but sidled up to her acting friendly once Lavigne was sitting with a group at the Chateau Marmont days later.

The source added: “It seemed like she was just being friendly to Avril because she was with people Lindsay wanted to impress.”

If Forrest Gump and Lenny from Mice and Men had a kid and dropped it on its head, it still wouldn’t be half as stupid as these two twats. Welcome to the Aristotelian archetype for “functionally retarded.” Try not to shit yourselves or eat a box of crayons while you’re here.

Lindsay and her sister last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online