Jul 6, 201010

Jessica Simpson is the Sad Lonely Fat Girl

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This was supposed to be a post about Jessica Simpson’s new football star boyfriend. Until I saw the above picture, that is. Never has there been a more quintessential lonely fat girl picture. It’s the kind of picture you find sandwiched between a worn copy of “Twilight: New Moon” and Weight Watchers calorie-counting guidebook, only the pretty girls’ eyes have been scratched out with a paperclip and there are horns and mustaches on their faces and the back is covered in nacho cheese and tears. It’s like my junior prom photo all over again.

With Brooke Shields and Jennifer Garner at the opening of the Casino Club At The Greenbrier in West Virginia:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame

10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Syd

    I hate myself for kind of feeling sorry for her in that first photo.

    Jul 6th, 2010

  2. Anony

    No need. She’s still the best option of those three.
    Affleck desperately wants out of the Garner marriage.
    It’s making his hair fall out faster than he can take.
    Shields is a spoiled show biz brat who probably spent more time, energy, and thought on what “special, not like anybody else” names she was going to give her kids than on any other decision she ever made in her life.
    I’ll take sexual napalm any day.

    Jul 6th, 2010

  3. Open Mouth Jones

    I was going to give the inspiration for my name credit for not having her maw gaping wide open like the whale in that bible story about Jonah getting swallowed, but what do you know… There she is! The Jessica I know and love (to mock).
    That said, this chick linebacker dresses for Jennifer Garners body type, and it ain’t at all flattering. I almost, somewhere deep in the cold recesses of what may have been my heart once, feel some sort of pity for her. Almost. But then the urge to ridicule overtakes me.

    Jul 6th, 2010

  4. Heather

    Are you serious Bitch?!, lets see YOUR picture….. she looks like the only celebrity that when you fuck her you don’t get bone bruises and I seem to remember her ex’s saying she was sex napalm or something like that, I bet she was, she didn’t rattle like a bag of bones when SHE ( with enough energy) fucked their brains out AND I bet she doesn’t leave those nasty bone bruises on your hips either….. just sayn; biiiiiiiatch!

    Jul 7th, 2010

  5. Erin

    This seems like a pretty unnecessary article. She is still pretty even though she isnt as thin as she was a few years ago. It’s stuff like this that makes normal girls feel fat and bad about themselves. What an irresponsible post.

    Jul 7th, 2010

  6. Vincent

    She’s definitely still mad hawt. And I don’t mean mad-cow hot, I mean absolutely smokin’ hot. So what if she isn’t as skinny as she used to be. She’s still gorgeous.

    Jul 7th, 2010

  7. Thea

    I do not see what the commotion is about.
    She’s pretty!

    I would love to look as her!

    Jul 16th, 2010

  8. walid

    jessica is very beauteful now is look llike the mooni am walid my msn is fire_love2010@live.fr

    Jul 25th, 2010

  9. Coinneach

    If that’s fat, call me a chubby-chaser. DAMN she looks good.

    Aug 12th, 2010

  10. kickBack

    I bet the blog poster £10,000 that in that photo she is still closer to underweight than overweight on the bmi chart.
    Just for the record I don’t find her to look remotely fat just not unhealthily underweight like the other 2 are. She is certainly far more attractive.
    Though I think the other comments kind of support me in that view ;)
    Lets see some pictures of the chubby jealous b**ch that wrote all these articles anyway after chucking another pair of jeans she outgrew away.

    Nov 18th, 2010

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