The first whore to be unearthed in the Tiger Woods sex scandal is joining the distinguished ranks of Vh1′s “Celebrity Rehab,” even though she technically doesn’t have a problem with substance abuse. Unless less you count semen as a substance, in which case Rachel Uchitel has a very serious problem. The Daily Mail says:

The 35-year-old, who’s also admitted to having a ‘romantic relationship’ with married Bones star David Boreanaz, checked into [Celebrity Rehab's] Pasadena Recovery Center on Saturday, [where] she will be encouraged to talk about her six month affair.

What’s her poison? Allegedly, she has an addiction to love.

Uchitel ‘has made some bad relationship choices and is being given the chance to deal with some issues,’ a source told [Us] magazine. ‘She doesn’t do drugs and isn’t an alcoholic, but she does have problems with relationships.’

An “addiction to love?” Gah. That’s totally fucking bogus. Dr. Drew would have just lost all credibility with me, had he had any credibility in the first place. But I don’t see the point of arguing that the lowest-common-denominator-approach cheapens the integrity of the show. It’s called “Celebrity Rehab,” for Chrissakes. It’d be like complaining there are too many flies on your shit sandwich.