S.S. Cristiano Ronaldo is Shirtless for Time Force

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Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo might have the physique of a Greek god and the hairlessness of a Taiwanese eunuch, but he just doesn’t do it for me. If I wanted to OD on chlamydia and hair gel, I’d just visit the Jersey Shore. No sense in buying an overpriced watch just so it can burn when I pee.

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