Cops were called to a New York hotel this morning after a drunk and naked Charlie Sheen trashed his suite. Charlie, by the way, was there with his two daughters and ex-wife Denise Richards (they were on a different floor) to see “Mary Poppins” on Broadway. Good times all around! NY Post says:

Security at The Plaza Hotel on Fifth Avenue called police just after 2 a.m. where they found the hard-partying Sheen.

Tables and chairs had been thrown around the room and a chandelier was also damaged. The damages totaled about $7,000.

“The Two and a Half Men” star was accompanied to New York Hospital by his ex-wife Denise Richards, who was staying in a separate room at the Eloise Suite on the 18th floor.

Sheen was not injured, but checked himself into the hospital for an evaluation, sources said.

So what sparked the deranged chimpanzee-like hotel melee? Well, the hooker he was with tried to steal his wallet, so he locked her in the closet naked and then started Chris Farley-ing the furniture.

Sheen, 45, told police he had been “out partying.”

After he returned to his room with an unidentified woman, he noticed his wallet and cellphone were missing, causing him to fly into a rage.

A police official said the woman in the room with Sheen was an escort.

Life & Style magazine reported on its website that the woman was screaming inside a locked closet.

“She was fearing for her life and was naked,” a source told the website. “Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital.”

This is just what I figured a family vacation with Charlie Sheen would look like. Only there should be more cheerleader costumes spattered with vomit and urine and somebody should have accidentally gotten shot by a donkey.