Mel Gibson has admitted in court that he struck Oksana Grigorieva in the face while she held their one-year old daughter Lucia, but claims it was only intended to shake her from the hysteria that was endangering their child and that he never struck her with a closed fist. Hey, if that’s good enough for the WWF, well by God, it should be good enough for legal system, too. TMZ says:

According to his declaration, Mel says he and Oksana were having one of their frequent arguments at his Malibu home, when Oksana grabbed Lucia out her of bassinet, brought her right in the middle of the argument and screamed, “Stop yelling or you will make her into a retarded brain damaged idiot!”

Oksana “started swinging Lucia erratically in her arms, jerking her body from side to side to keep Lucia out of my reach.”

Mel adds Oksana was “hysterical” and her “rapid movements were causing Lucia’s little body to be flung from one side to the other, her head shaking violently.” Mel says he feared Shaken Baby Syndrome.

Mel says, “I slapped Oksana one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. I did not slap her hard, I was just trying to shock her so that she would stop screaming, continuing shaking Lucia back and forth.”

In addition to his sworn declaration, dozens of “love texts” Mel sent Oksana have also been entered into evidence. He wrote (via TMZ):

– “This is your capitalist pig landing his jet in Minnesota 4 customs! I have scarcely thought of anything but u since I left London! That is wonderful + sad because you are not near me! I need my little Russian to fill my soul.”

– “If u r up call me my dark eyed beautiful little communist! I miss u + by God, I love you”

– “Smoocherinos all over you!”

– “I love u madly as u can prolly tell by the extent to which fear of losing u can make me irrational.”

– “You conquered the monster in me with your love emanating from your truly beautiful + heart + soul.”

– “This kinda love is like war … I just can’t resist your advance no more.”

Oh, man. Smoocherinos? More like barferinos. Mel should really leave the bard-ing business to Bill Shakespeare and stick to domestic abuse and Jew-hating.