Because old people have genitals, too, newly-single John Mellencamp has found himself a “cougar” to bang in the form of Meg Ryan. Please hold all retching sounds and audible shudders until the end. People Magazine says:

Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp have spent time together on Martha’s Vineyard and in New York City in recent days, enjoying a fresh romance just as Mellencamp has announced his separation from wife Elaine after 18 years of marriage.

A source close to Ryan, 49, says the actress and the rock star, 59, began dating about seven weeks ago, and that Mellencamp and his wife had been separated for some time before that.

The pair have been spotted having coffee at Espresso Love and grocery shopping at Gourmet Garage in New York’s SoHo neighborhood.

Wow, what a whirlwind romance. Grocery shopping AND getting coffee. I bet they even went and got their flu shots together, too. But in a more interesting Eva Longoria/Tony Parker-type twist, it turns out that Megan Ryan was actually a friend of the family’s (see photos of Meg with John and Elaine Irwin here) for years. Radar Online says:

Long before Mellencamp announced his split from Irwin on December 30, 2010 he dined with her and the Sleepless in Seattle star at the Waverly Inn while in New York City after [being] inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in March, 2008.

I just don’t get it. The guy was married for nearly twenty years to a supermodel who looks like this, and he’s gonna throw it all away for a woman who looks like she’s snarling when she smiles. It’s the same face chimpanzees make when they expose their gums as a warning right before they attack.

Meg at Cannes last year:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures